Why Black Women Are Single

About the Author:

William D. Oatis is the author of "Why Black Women Are Single: Exploring the Dating Backlash Against African American Women" and "Why Women Are Single" (due out Summer 2010). He is also the owner of Scholars Publishing and is a certified professional portrait photo- grapher.  He has received extensive training in the art of conflict resolution, as well as observing people and cultures.  He is a graduate of the University of Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg, as well as a number of other institutions. He travels extensively abroad teaching and practicing these trades. 

Interview With Author William D. Oatis

By Stephanie Hearns Thibodeaux

ST  -  So, who is William Oatis?

WDO  -  He is a cultured country boy from South Mississippi who was raised right.  He’s comfortable with himself: self-actualized and content. As Lynyrd Skynyrd would say, “a simple kind of man.”

ST  -  That’s it?

WDO  -  That’s all it needs to be; it’s the foundation of my being, which I’m blessed to have.

ST  -  Are you single?  Kids?  

WDO  -  Single, never married, no kids. Ten nieces and nephews though.

ST  -  So what makes you an expert on black women's dating habits?  Enough to tell us why we are single? (Laughter)

WDO  -  (Laughter) I knew that question was coming...Look, I am not an expert but I am naturally curious.  I will say this.  I am a single guy who was raised right.  I was raised to be humble, sincere and honest and this is a subject that interests me on a personal level.  I have a number of female friends and family who have had very personal discussions with me on their challenges finding a decent guy to date.  Moreover, I have been involved in a number of discussions with black guys who have discussed some of their frustrations in dating black women.  Not to sound arrogant but I will also say that I do have a unique set of reasoning skills that have been enhanced by a large sum of your tax dollars.  You can say that I have learned from some of the best.  Because of this, I have a reputation amongst my peers as being someone who is pretty good at figuring out very complicated, cross-cultural problems in  ever-changing and lethal environments.  In my research, I have not found any serious books written on why black women face a 70% single rate.  Again, I am not an expert, but the guys who have read the book have given me so many 'Amens' that I feel my reader will get something beneficial out of it. I am confident in the veracity of my book, yet I acknowledge that it is an incomplete work.  I'm no expert. (Laughter)

ST  -  What inspired you to write this book?

WDO  -  I think it was a logical progression for me.  I have been working on a serious book on Post-9/11 military and US policy in regards to irregular warfare and was advised to write a book on a lighter topic first in order to get a better understanding of the publishing process.  So I picked this subject.  Like I alluded to above, for some reason, I was always the guy my female friends and relatives would approach for relationship advice.  Temperament-wise, maybe it has something to do with me being a middle child.  I would always listen to them, appreciating their perspective but balancing it with a guy’s perspective.  I would never take sides nor would I ever tell anyone what they wanted to hear, which I feel is a disservice.  Over the years, I would refine my “counseling skills” and I have often been encouraged to write a book on relationships.  So the bug has always been in the back of my mind and recently, I just decided to do it.  Ironically, the book was originally titled, “Why Women Are Single.”  When I started the research, I ran across an Oprah Winfrey YouTube clip that pointed out 70 percent of black women were single.  I knew the number was high but not that high, so I decided to focus on black women initially, in part due to the fact that there are no other books out there that delve deeply into this issue.   So I wrote this book, which is  funny at times, serious at others, but an easy read.  I will finish “Why Women Are Single” next year.

ST  -  Is there a big difference why black women and non-black women are single?  

WDO  -  Like I mentioned, originally I didn’t plan on a racial component to the book because women – like men – are pretty much the same...generally speaking.  I certainly didn’t plan on two books. The only major differences in the two books will be based on three compounding dynamics that – in my opinion – are unique to the black community.  First, there appears to be a greater level of contempt between black women and men that I view as a significant problem. This affects the foundation on which a relationship can be laid.  Neither of the two genders is to blame per se, but it does add complexity to the issue.  Second, the extent of the unfair stereotypes that black women are shouldered with appears different from other races, particularly the “Angry Black Woman.” This creates some unique challenges, as well.  The last difference is the cultural perception – fair or unfair – that black women have more “attitude” than other women, which may turn off some men.  These are the things I delve into in the first three chapters of “Why Black Women Are Single,” which will be a little different in a book to a wider audience. Thus the justification for the sister book, “Why Women Are Single.” Aside from that, there is not much difference between women of any ethnic group, or men for that matter.

ST  -  You mentioned that some of your peers might view the topic of this book as “out of character” for you.  What do you mean by that?

WDO  -  Ninety-five percent of the people I work with are non-black and we do not really discuss racial issues. Plus they are all men.  I mainly read books on history, current events, and barbecue.  This book is not so much “out of character” as it may be a surprise to my non-black friends that I work with, guys who know me really well.  Surprise being the topic chosen. I read approximately 45 to 50 books a year on post-9/11 asymmetrical threats and barbeque. Plus a bunch of policy-type White Papers on my Kindle eBook reader. I have been working on a book on asymmetrical war for the last 6 years that I hope to have completed by 2012.  It will be an academic work relevant to those from the lowest tactical levels to the national-level policy makers in Washington, DC.  Plus, others expect me to write a barbeque book, which is something that I recently committed to myself to do.  A lot of the work related matters I deal with is, quite frankly, violent.  Those are some of the topics they would have expected me to write on, not on "touchy feely" topics like relationships.  Once the guys find out, they are gonna give me a hard time.   I can see a couple of them putting a dozen pink roses inside my sniper case 0r something

(Laughter).  Regardless, this book was fun to write and I learned a lot in the process.

ST  -  In our earlier conversation, you mentioned that you took exceptional efforts to ensure that your “tone” was right.  You didn’t want to be offensive?  Why?

WDO  -  When I started online research for this book, I was taken aback by some of the outright contempt that some black women and men had toward each other. Some black women vehemently blame us while some of my male counterparts share their opinions in dramatically raw fashion, too.  Frankly, I was dumbfounded but knew that I didn’t want my book to be associated with this vitriolic atmosphere.  It is embarrassing and it is childish. On the other hand, one doesn’t need to be a rocket scientist to realize that black women have consistently been given the short end of the stick.  Although some of the things I mention in the book are very frank, they aren’t offensive.  All who have read the book have complemented me on the tone and said that my sincerity shows throughout.    When I first mentioned this project to a couple of black women I know and trust, they told me to be honest in my words but try not to be “hurtful,” as this practice has been elevated to a sport.  I concurred.  The initial manuscript went through seven revisions and my guidance was clear to each editor (all were females).  I told them that I desired to be clear, frank but not offensive.  I told them to flag any statements that came across as rude and I would address them without watering down the context.  There may be a time when one has to be harsh in tone; I could never envision an instance where I take part in that type of discussion…especially with this audience.  Too much of that has happened in the past and we need to start talking to each other like mature adults.  Dialogue is the key.

ST  -  In your introduction, you hinted that you viewed your role as the author as a “big brother”.  What do you mean by that?  

WDO  -  I see the 70 percent single rate among black women as disproportionately high, which is a problem that no one asked me to attempt to solve.  I attempted to do it on my own and with humility.  A big brother can pull his sister off to the side and offer unwanted advice because he sincerely cares.  Most importantly, she knows it.  Most will listen; she may not like it but she knows that he has her best interests at heart.  I have witnessed first-hand some of the emotional trials of single black women who are finding it hard to find a decent guy and sometimes it bothers me as I imagine it would if they were my blood sisters. I don’t have any blood sisters but for some reason, this role seemed natural. 

ST  -  For those who have not read your book yet, what is the biggest reason in your opinion why black women have a higher single rate?

WDO  -  In my opinion, it is not one reason but the culmination of two major factors, as well as a couple of smaller issues that I discuss in the book.  I hate to generalize but for the sake of discussion, I will expound.  First, a large number of black women are determined to limit their dating prospects exclusively to black men.  This is admirable, yet impractical in the contemporary dating environment.  I am neither a proponent nor opponent of interracial dating; it is a personal matter.  But from a purely mathematical perspective, this socially accepted limitation profoundly affects the dating prospects of a large number of black women, which in my opinion contributes to the 70 percent single rate.  Second and perhaps more controversial are the cultural aspects.  Too many black men view black women as having an image issue.  I think most of us will agree that the stereotypical image of the “Angry Black Woman” is deeply entrenched in our society.  Even the First Lady, Michelle Obama, had to shrug off that ridiculous label as her husband was running for President.  Although I will be the first to admit that this stereotype is unfair, I point out in Chapter 2 that black women are the most enthusiastic promoters of this label, to the detriment of the community.  For example, the stereotypical “Angry Black Woman” doesn’t mind flexing attitude or “going off” on people.  However, as I lay out in the book, so many of today’s younger generation of black women feel that they are supposed to flex an attitude when something is not to their liking.  Does that make them “angry?”  Probably not.  Does that make them stereotypical? Unfortunately, one can argue that it does.  Do black men find this image attractive?  Not many mature black men that I know.   I think this, in combination with the other factors I discuss in the book, is undermining the monopoly that black women have had on black men.  

ST  -  So is Oprah wrong when she says the numbers aren’t there?  

WDO  -  I prefer not to frame this discussion in the terms of “right” or “wrong,” although I did allude to that in my introduction.  Ms. Winfrey has done countless shows so context - in the big picture sense - is key.  I interpreted Ms. Winfrey’s opinion based on a 5 minute, 14 second video clip of her show and it seems to me that she feels the main reason for such a high single rate has more to do with numbers.   In that limited context – with due respect to her - I feel her assessment is incomplete because the disproportionate numbers of datable black men is only part of a more complex problem.  Ms. Winfrey, like many females, naturally looks through the prism of a female perspective, and this issue is inherently camouflaged to that point of view.  What she sees as somewhat simple, we see as a bit more complex.  There are some legitimate frustrations that some black men may have but there is no way of articulating these issues without repercussions…or having someone “go off” on them.  Whether it is fair or not, it is generally understood among black men that you do not voice these opinions to African American women. 

ST  -  Thus the backlash that you mention in your subtitle, “Exploring the Dating Backlash Against African American Women?”

WDO  -  Exactly, and ironically, I don't think the backlash is permanent and that big.  A wise man once told me that 80 percent of all conflicts are due to miscommunications.  His point was to talk things out.  When there is a problem, get to the bottom of it by talking like mature adults.  In my opinion, there is no mechanism in our community to facilitate the contemptuous divide between some black men and women, at least maturely.  For example, a black guy diplomatically says one of the criticisms he has with some black women is the fact they feel they have to articulate how strong and independent they are.  The discussion immediately takes a turn for the worse and the question becomes, “So you don’t like independent women?”  Then another will say, “Oh, you want some white trophy wife that you can walk all over because you can’t get that with a Sista.”  Before the conversation deteriorates into an adolescent comic, another will say, “You know what I can’t stand about Brothers like you is that you come up with these silly excuses why black women are not good enough for you and the fact is that you are not man enough to admit that you are attracted to the other side.” At this point, there is no more dialogue.  So this guy who had a valid frustration he felt comfortable discussing will never forget this encounter, nor will he ever discuss it again.  The same goes for the other guys who witnessed the exchange and view his criticism as valid.  This is the foundation for resentment, especially when one’s motives are called into question in such fashion.  Had one of the women politely asked him, “Would you please explain why you feel that way because I get the impression that you are intimidated by black women?” The outcome would have been different.  He would have said, “No, quite the contrary, it has been my experience that the women who feel they need to tell men how strong they are, tend to be the opposite, which has been a personal disappointment to me.  The women I grew up around were the strong roots of the family but they never discussed strength, they simply displayed it...and we all knew it was there.  I merely meant that I find this quiet strength to be more appealing to me.  I’m sorry if I offended you.” A mature dialogue like that will contribute to a better understanding between us.  If you shut us down, question our motives, and accuse us of putting down on the black women who are literally a part of our greater being, many men will see it as a slap in the face and withdraw . . . thus the backlash.  You wouldn’t believe how prevalent this is.  I do recognize that some black men are just as much the culprits in these types of negative interactions but someone has to take the high ground and I personally feel that black women will be best served by leading this effort.

ST  -  In one of your chapters, you discuss a woman’s independence in the context of what you refer to as the  “Beyoncé Effect”.  Expound.

WDO  -  Yes, Chapter 3.  Beyoncé Knowles is a very talented entertainer and I like her music a lot; “Listen” is my favorite.  As you know, many of her tracks have an independence and strength theme to them, which there is nothing wrong with at all.  It is my opinion that Beyoncé’s lyrics are often taken literally by some of her fans and they wear their strength and independence on their sleeves, as opposed to internally where most mature men expect it to be.  I loosely refer to this as the Beyoncé Effect, although this has been going on years before she came on the scene.  As I point out in the book, it is not a derogatory term, nor something we can or should blame the singer for.  Beyoncé is an entertainer and some women apply her lyrics literally and they may not have the context in which she wrote them.  This is not helpful, but she can not be held responsible for this no more that Sylvester Stallone is in one of his violent movies. 

On a lighter side, I was in a club in Argentina when her song “Independent Woman” came out.  I was jamming so hard to the song that I found myself surrounded by everyone in the club yelling “El Negro” in Spanish.   They cleared the center of the dance floor for me like on “Soul Train.” We had so much fun that night and I didn’t have to pay for any drinks. 

ST  -  So do you take issue with independent women?

WDO  -  No, not at all.  Let me be frank.  A large number of African American women are as independent as they are because of the failures of too many black men to live up to their responsibilities.  Too many black women work, send themselves to school, while taking the child to the YMCA and church every Sunday…with no financial or emotional support from the father.  Many are independent because they are forced to be so. I understand.  In my opinion, the only issue is when some of these women appear to vent their frustrations on all African American men because of the treatment of the last loser they dated.  This is something best kept internally.  This is where the consistent “baggage” argument that black men discuss in private has merit.  There are a number of black men who are fully capable of living up to the biblical requirements of being “head of the house” but are treated like the deadbeat father or boyfriend who sleeps until noon and play video games the rest of the day. This is a hard pill for many of us to swallow. At this point, unfortunately, those women who verbally describe themselves as “strong and independent” may undermine their own appeal in the eyes of some men, as many of us feel this characteristic is better observed and not overtly displayed.  Since there is no mature mechanisms for us to discuss these issues with black women, we are forced to accept it or not and some men refuse to do so.  Is this alone enough to “push” black men to date interracially?  For most of us, I doubt it.  However, is this enough to “allow” a black guy to have a cup of coffee with someone whom he had an engaging conversation with - someone he sat next to on a long subway commute – a women who happens to be non-black?  Just maybe.

ST  -  Are you attracted to black women?

WDO  -  Yes, out of the six women that I was really serious about, five were black and one was Latina.  I knew that question would come. (Laughter)

ST  -  Why?

WDO  -  I guess when you write a book titled, “Why Black Women Are Single,” the default assumption may be “This is another book about why he is not attracted to black women.” It seems so “zero-sum” at times.  Actually, this is a déjà vu moment that I have experienced several times before. 

ST  -  Did your decision to date a Latina have anything to do with black women?

WDO  -  Actually it did not.  I met Veronica when I was in her country on business almost 10 years ago.   I didn't approach her because she was Latina or because I had an issue with black women.  I approached her because she was sitting by herself and she smiled when I said, "Hola, ¿Cómo está usted?".  We went out because we enjoyed our first conversation.  We kept seeing each other because we enjoyed each other's company.  I wanted to marry her because she impressed me more than any woman I had ever met.  It had nothing to do with race and I certainly did not date her to send some type of message to anyone. We really enjoyed each other's company. 

ST  -  So do you feel that black men and women view “independence” in different contexts?

WDO  -  I do.  I think that is a huge problem and it becomes very frustrating for all.  Again, I hate to generalize but I must in order to convey this message.  A lot of black men view strength and independence as internal emotional qualities that women they date are expected to have, be they black, white, or other.  This is something that will be observed over the course of the relationship…not discussed on the first date.  Our mothers and grandmother had these qualities but they did not talk about them, something that contrasts with many women of today.  The perception among many black men is that our generation of black women view “strength and independence” as an additional component to their personality that they must talk about…they must tell you about, that they must prove.  This verbal fixation on “strength and independence” is seen by a number of us as some type of insecurity, which is a turn off.  A guy I was in a course with about 5 years ago was surfing an Internet dating site and asked me, “You know how I can tell that black women are so ‘strong and independent’… Just listen to them…they’ll tell you.” He was frustrated by all of the profiles of the women who had listed that they were “strong and independent.”  When we try to explain this frustration to African American women, we get slammed because it sometimes seem as if many of you believe that we expect you to be uneducated, barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen with your mouth closed, which is ridiculous. 

A second point I would like to make is very simple…words do matter.  There are a number of definitions for the word “independent”.  One of Webster’s definitions is “not requiring or relying on something else”.  To me, this seems like the exact opposite quality someone would like to display when attracting a mate.  For guys like me, I am looking for someone who is seeking a relationship and expect a level of mutual dependence on each other.  Not someone who, by definition, does not require me or want to be their own entity.  Unfortunately, this is the unwitting persona that too many of our black women display and it is hurting them.  Independence is good, but the context and attitude in which too many women use the word is the issue that many of us may have. 

ST  -  Do you think that black women are solely to blame for their 70 percent single rate?  

WDO  -  The short and practical answer is no.  But honestly, it doesn’t really matter who’s to blame.  Blame is a very corrosive concept because when one is trying to assess blame, it ultimately pits the two entities – in this case black men and women – into two camps: winners and losers.  It contributes nothing in determining the root of the problem, which in this case, why 70 percent of black women are single.  Blame contributes to the internecine cycle of contempt that too many black men and women have toward each other.  If you were severely injured in a two-car accident – aside from the insurance/legal matters – does it matter who is to blame?  Will the fact that the other driver was on a cell phone speed up your recovery?  I doubt it.  This is why mature adults tend to look beyond blame in order to get to the root of the problem…in this case, a disproportionally high single rate among African American women.  For that reason I am proud that my book has steered clear of the blame game and has focused on some of the things that I sincerely feel many African American women should reevaluate.  I should also point out that although this book is written around the issue of the single rate of black women, I understand that black men are not perfect and our imperfections have had a bearing on this situation.  In order to facilitate this mature discussion, we both need to come to the table in an honest attempt to understand each other’s issues.

ST  -  Your chapter on single mothers is very insightful.  Why did you include a chapter on this subject?  

WDO  -  Because there are a lot of single mothers out there who may not completely appreciate some of the inherent advantages they may have on the dating scene.  In this chapter, I discuss the three different markets of males and which of the three to steer clear of.  Men the world over generally have a good impression of mothers and if a single mother can appreciate some of the innate tendencies of men, I think they will have a more positive outlook of their dating prospects.

ST  -  You devoted a complete chapter on the subject of cooking.  Why do you feel so strongly about this?

WDO  -  If you paid really close attention to the structure of the book, the first three chapters may be the hardest pills for most of my audience to swallow.  From that point on, I am providing more of a male’s perspective for the reader, in order to be more effective in understanding men, therefore, more effective in attracting us.  Cooking is important for a number of reasons, most of which are latent.  First, in terms of comparative practicality, not as many women can cook now as, say, 20 years ago.  We all know that a greater number of women are competing for a smaller number of men so this attribute may separate you from your counterparts.  Second, a woman who can cook seems more independent and can take care of herself and her children more effectively during tough economic times.  If a woman eats ready-to-eat processed foods, which are high in sodium, calories, and sugars, her children will too.  Third, cooking has historically been a large part of African American culture and for many men – myself included – I expect my wife to pass down family recipes to our children.  Plus, the fact that a woman who knows her way around the kitchen tells a lot about her…she most likely had a close relationship with women of older generations, which may add another dimension to her personality.  It has been instilled in many men from the South by our mothers and grandmothers that there is something inherently wrong with women who can’t cook.  That’s not me saying that but women saying that, in strong terms I might add.  Actually I quoted one of my grandmothers at the beginning of the chapter on this topic.

ST  -  Do you know your way around the kitchen?  

WDO  -  I do.  I learned from the best.  My mom, grandmothers, and aunts taught me a number of things and I learned a lot in private study. This last Christmas, I cooked a huge feast for my family because I will be out of the country during the next holiday season.  I smoked a turkey, cooked chitterlings, a ham, beef chuck roast, chicken lasagna, garlic mashed potatoes, rice, macaroni & cheese, roasted cinnamon sweet potatoes, sautéed cabbage, fresh green beans, Crowder peas, skillet-baked cornbread, a German Chocolate cake, a carrot cake, and a batch of old-fashion molasses cakes.  I’m bragging now when I say - with the exception of the carrot and German Chocolate cakes - EVERYTHING was from scratch.  Nothing was out of a box or “ready to cook” type dishes.  I cooked everything by myself and dinner was ready at 1 p.m. sharp, with my kitchen clean.  Cooking in the kitchen is easy though.  During the big December snowstorm of 2008, we lost power for four days.  We all crashed over at my parent’s house where I cooked a huge feast over their fireplace.  We had steaks, chicken, pork loin, ember roasted vegetables like corn, eggplant, red peppers, cabbage, sweet potatoes, and red potatoes.  I also cooked a huge beef stew, as well.  We took the leftovers and buried them in the snow until the next meal and reheated them over the fire.  For four days, we cut fallen trees with our chainsaws during the day and ate well and drank a few good drinks around the roaring fireplace at night.  We had fun and that’s what cooking is about, fun and memories. I do make the distinction between women who don’t know how to cook and those who are unwilling to learn.  Like many men who can cook well, I would not be interested in a woman who was unwilling to learn.  She may be a very good person and mother, but I can’t see how I could sustain a long-term interest in her...I’m not being harsh; I’m just being honest.  On the other hand, I would enjoy teaching someone who was willing to learn.  I have done that before and we had fun.  For some reason, kitchens generate a lot of laughter and fond memories.  

ST  -  What’s your favorite chapter and why?

WDO  -  My favorite is the last chapter, “The Gold Standard,” because I discuss the impact that my Mom has had on my life.  It’s very nostalgic.  I wrote it because a mother’s example has a significant impact on a son’s idea of what “right” looks like in a woman.  I imagine it is the same in a father and daughter relationship.  The chapter is a bit more personal than I would ever feel comfortable discussing and when I read the initial draft, my first instinct was to edit it out.  After I slept on it, I decided to leave it in.   Throughout the book, I have shared with the reader my thoughts and opinions on a wide range of dating topics.  My relationship with my Mom is the source of many of these values and I think it adds another layer of depth to the book because it affords the reader a unique insight into this dynamic. She is truly an extraordinary woman and I’m glad I was able to share her impact on my life with my readers. 

Let me also say this.  I love the title of the book because of the reaction that I get from women when they see it.  I never know what to expect.  Sometimes its a, "That's interesting" a "WTF" look or a "Oh really, Mr. Expert...another 'kick a black woman book'?" One lady once looked at me like she was personally slighted so I put up my dukes and told her I was ready to throw down. She asked me why were my fists up and I told her I thought I was about to be in a fist fight. (Laughter) We had a big laugh.  We've had so many laughs on the title alone.  But seriously, those who have had questions on my motives as an author are at ease within a few seconds of me telling them about the book.  

ST  -  What was the most difficult aspect of your book?

WDO  -  I have to say the project itself.  First of all, like I said earlier, I am not an expert on the subject, but out of nowhere, I am authoritatively saying, “Excuse me Ladies, I figured out why you all may be having a few dating issues.” Think about it.  I am trying to get a subject right that I know I do not have all of the answers for. It’s hard to say.  I guess, trying to find the balance of being true to my observations and respectful to each and every reader is a burden that I have placed on myself.  That, plus I know I will not be available to answer questions or address additional issues when the book comes out.  Also, I truly do not want to offend anyone with my words, especially, this audience.  Those were the most difficult aspects of this project.  

ST  -  Not available? Where will you be?

WDO  -  Gone.

ST  -  OK, that was pretty blunt.  I noticed that you are not marketing this book in a conventional sense, strictly Internet. No real way to contact you. Is that because you will be away?

WDO  - Yes, I didn’t really have a choice.  I started this project with the understanding that I would have at least 12 months of uninterrupted time at home.  It turned out to be a little over 4 months of interrupted patches of time followed by a year-long assignment that is coming up where I will practically drop off the face of the earth.  I’m not complaining or anything but my new timeline left me with two decisions: operate on a compressed time schedule and get the book out or wait until mid-2010.  Since 2010 is not promised, I decided to do it now.  I had to start my own publishing company in order meet my time schedule.  When it is all said and done, the process will be approximately 8 months from concept to finished book but I will be unavailable for conventional promotion like book tours, talk shows, interviews, etc. until mid-2010.  That leaves the Internet, primarily email and Facebook.  I hope those who visit my site will forward the link to everyone in their address book, as well as their Facebook network…that is if they like the content… and of course, after they order their own copy.

ST  -  I notice that you are very vague about your background.  Why don’t you talk about it more?

WDO  -  Because the subject is this book. (Laughter) 

ST  -  OK, fair enough.  What do you want your reader to take away the most from your book?  What are you seeking to accomplish?

WDO  -  I want my reader to realize that all black men are not out to take advantage of you.  I would like for black women to entertain the notion that there are some legitimate frustrations that black men have that merits their attention without responding in a hostile and defensive manner.  The unfair stereotype of “Angry Black Woman” needs to be addressed and the black entertainment establishment needs to cease with its promotion.  If I was overseas somewhere and heard that my book sparked a deliberate series of discussions where black men and women maturely discussed some of these issues, I would consider that to be a success criteria far greater than I am capable of dreaming.  If that happened, I feel the 70 percent single rate would immediately begin to decline. 

ST  -  So what’s on the agenda for William D. Oatis?  What next?

WDO  -  When I get back, I will promote this book concurrently with its sister book, “Why Women Are Single.”  There are also plans in the works for follow-up books in the "Why Black Women Are Single" series, this one was the anchor of the series.   I plan on doing some traveling in South America and work on my Spanish, which has become kinda rusty due trips to the Muslim world over the last few years.  I’m seriously thinking about a book on South American grilling techniques, particularly the Patagonia region of Southern Argentina and Chile, as well as Brazilian and Uruguayan churrasco/asado and open-air techniques.  That won’t be for another 5 years or so.  We will also open a barbeque/soul food restaurant in mid-2010; the ground work on that project is underway.  I’ll finish my Master’s and take some time off before starting on my Doctorate.  I plan to finish the boring book I discussed by 2012 and I have been doodling around with the outline on a series of books on professionalism.  We’ll see.  I'm going to buy me a new tractor and I want a Harley-Davidson Softail Deluxe Motorcycle and may ride up to Sturgis.  I used to ride bikes when I was in high-school and always wanted a Harley.  In 2011, I want to run with the bulls in Pamplona, Spain; something I always wanted to do.  I definitely plan on doing the family thing too; I’m getting old…plus I can stop everyone from asking, “Why is Will Single?” (Laughter)